Moving out of your family home to venture out into the world can be a lonely journey – that’s the least fun part about writing your own adventure.
Getting out of that dull feeling can seem difficult, however it’s not impossible. Just know that you truly aren’t alone, especially when you have Allah SWT by your side. Having said that, here are a few tips you can follow to get out of your negative headspace:
Open your curtains in the mornings and let the sunlight in. It can instantly brighten up your mood. Invite people over, it can be your neighbours or new friends you’ve made. There doesn’t have to be a special occasion for people to come over, friends coming over even for a just an hour and a cup of tea can easily eradicate any feelings of loneliness, even if it’s for a short while.
As fun as being alone is, it can also lead to overthinking which causes a build up of insecurities and makes small problems seem bigger than they are, so it is ok to let people into your space once in awhile and just hangout.
Focusing on helping someone else deal with their issues can help you get out of your head and even help you better understand your own situation. It will also show you that you are not alone in this and you can both help each other out in solving these problems.
Find out the things that you like about living alone, it could be the freedom of wearing whatever you want around the house, wanna stay in your PJs all of Sunday? Go ahead, enjoy it to the fullest! Love breakfast? Take time in the morning to truly enjoy a cup of tea with some pancakes while you catch up on a TV show or read the latest in news.
Feel free to let loose and dance to some music while you are cleaning your place or reorganizing your wardrobe. Learn to enjoy the peace and quiet of living alone while catching up on some reading. Sometimes living alone isn’t all that bad.
Looking at other people’s posts on social media can also make you feel lonely, so try to reduce the amount of time you spend on apps like Instagram or Facebook , and remember that the happiness and luxury portrayed on social media aren’t always true, it’s just that no one posts their bad days.
Instead, focus on the real world. Put aside some time from your busy schedule to catch up with friends and family physically or via Facetime! Staying at home can be mentally draining so talk to a loved one and let ease your mind!
However, it is important to note that you should learn to enjoy your own company as well. Understand that it is just the troubled mind that needs reassuring words and support to get it back on track. So take the time to comfort and love yourself because if you won't, who will?
If your landlord allows pets, why not have one?
Pets are a great source of happiness; they are great companions and will love you unconditionally. You will always have a buddy waiting for you at home, someone to talk to, and someone to love you. We depend on pets as much as they depend on us for food and care. True, emotional companionship is a great healer altogether.
If pets like cats are not allowed in the premises, opt for pets which are easy to maintain – such as fish. If you feel pets are too much work, install a bird feeder outside, near a window or on the balcony, it’s the interaction with another living creature other than yourself that counts.
Surely, learning a new skill will keep your mind occupied and stress-free!
Don’t be afraid to try something new, you can join an art class or any other outdoor hobby activities in your city. This is also a great way to make new friends, all while gaining knowledge. If you aren’t an outdoor-type-of-person, you can always visit sites like YouTube that has a myriad of free tutorials or sites like Skillshare which has online classes for everything!
Gardening is a great hobby as well, because the rewards are bountiful and highly enjoyable – who doesn’t love seeing a flower bloom? If you have no garden, opt for houseplants. They can be quite low maintenance depending on the types of plants you plan to have, therefore does not require much effort and you don’t have to worry about them dying by your hand.
Keeping yourself occupied is a great way of keeping loneliness at bay!
Going out for lunch or dinner by yourself is not as daunting as you would think; it could actually be pretty fun!
Find a cafe or restaurant that you like and visit it frequently. This way, the staff will get to know you and there will be another place in the city that you are familiar with. It’ll be a sort of second home, as you will find comfort in the familiarity of the place.
Grab a good book or take your laptop along with you so that you can get some work done while enjoying a nice meal. The change in scenery can really help and even make you feel motivated.
Going for a small walk around your neighbourhood is a great way to occupy your mind and keep your thoughts distracted for a bit. If you have work to get done, opt to go to the university library or a public library in the city, being surrounded by people could help alleviate loneliness.
Don’t be afraid to try something new, go on mini solo adventures – like visit a historical site in the area, go to a museum and take as much time as you want walking around, check out the cultural festivals in the area – keep track of events in the city.
If things are becoming too much to bear, it is completely OK to reach out to a professional.
Talking it out with someone who studies human behaviour and listens to you could be the most helpful thing to do for yourself, and you'll thank yourself for it later.
There is no shame in seeking for external help. Everyone feels sad sometimes and asking for help is the first step to feeling better and healing.
Bonus point: Always remember that loneliness is temporary! It is not permanent; these blue feelings can easily be dampened. All you need to do is look inside yourself and, reach out to others and most importantly, turn to Allah SWT.
Hopefully these tips can help you move past this temporary loneliness and into the life that you deserve.
Lots of hugs and love, my friends!